There’s nothing wrong with giving, but when you find yourself depleted, exhausted and empty, you have given too much. Let’s set some boundaries and prepare you to say no.
IN THIS EPISODE
0:24 This is a special episode going out to my givers. I know that’s you. You’re the type of woman who gives and gives and gives without taking anything in return. You give to those closest to you, strangers and others in your life. The thing is, if you’re not careful and don’t establish boundaries in a healthy way, this can make you feel like you’re being taken advantage of, or resentful of your clients or yourself.
2:10 This is a mindset and there are things you can do to protect your energy and yourself.
2:23 There’s nothing wrong with giving, but it has to come from a feel good place and when giving is a gift, it has to feel good. But when you’re giving when you don’t want to, it gives you negative feelings. And more negative feelings will make it easier for others to take advantage of you.
3:15 We need to draw that line in the sand and that line is invisible so we have to teach others where the line is. We have to be selfish in a nice way. We’re taught to not be selfish, but when you have nothing to give, then you don’t have anything for them. If someone asks you for something, start here:
4:15 If someone asks you for something, whether it’s time or a favor or money, and you’re not really sure what to say, start here: say “let me get back to you.” That will buy you time and you can think it over. If you are saying yes, ask yourself if you’re saying yes out of guilt, does it feel good that you’re doing it, is it in your zone of genius or are you doing it to shut them up or helping them. Is this ask bringing you towards your goals or away from them? Is it in line with your values and your zone of genius? If the answer to these is yes, then do it because it feels good. If not, then say no. Remember no is a complete sentence but sometimes we feel like we need to justify that answer.
6:25 I’m going to give you a few scripts to help you say no gently.
If you don’t have the time: “Thank you so much for asking. I’m excited and I’d love to help out with this opportunity, but right now I need to say no, but I’d love to help you in another way. Can I share it with someone else who might be interested?”
When someone asks to pick your brain: “Thank you for your interest in wanting to meet me, (or I’m flattered that you want to ask questions) but I don’t have the time right now but I have a lot of great resources that I can point you to.”
7:56 I have a girl in the Academy who had a friend that had asked for help. She kept avoiding talking with her and when we dug into it, she said she would have to do research because it’s not her zone of genius. So what to do you do in that situation? They are coming to you because they trust you. So you have to educate them.
“Thank you so much for thinking of me and I’d love to help, this particular ask is not in my zone of genius, however, I have someone who I think could help you, would you like me to make that introduction?”
9:51 What about something that is out of scope? When you’re working with a client and you’ve got a contract or an agreement. Maybe they don’t remember or they didn’t pay attention to that and now it’s your job to remind them. You can say:
“I’m glad that you’re excited about the work we’re doing together, and I’m glad you want to move forward and add more, this is outside the scope of our original agreement, do you want to set up a call to talk about adding more?”
12:03 Start practicing this and remember to start with “let me get back with you” and that will give you time to think about it, listen to this episode and revisit the scripts. And if it’s helpful, let us know! Hop over to the Profit Party Community or leave a review on ITunes.
- There’s nothing wrong with giving, but it has to come from a feel good place and when giving is a gift, it has to feel good.
- We have to be selfish in a nice way.
- I’m going to give you a few scripts to help you say no gently.
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