IN THIS EPISODE
2:16 If you’re in business and you have ever felt unsupported by your family members, this episode is for you cause we’re gonna talk about that today. It happens. It is one of those little things that you just can’t avoid all of the time and you can’t always change everybody else. You can’t make them get you. You can’t make them understand you and support you, but what you can do is learn how to roll with the punches and understand what it is that they’re thinking and feeling so that you can approach these family members in the right way. You can keep moving forward toward your goals, your ambitions and dreams in business in a really healthy way. You can feel amazing while doing it because what we don’t want is for you to give up on your dreams and let go and talk yourself out of going for the gusto just because you’re afraid of outshining somebody or hurting their feelings and what they might say.
3:18 So you are working on yourself; you’re doing a little bit of mindset work; you’re working on personal growth and development and you’re starting to feel really really good about what it is that you’re doing. You’re probably talking about your goals, you’re probably talking about how excited you are. You probably sound a whole lot more positive than you did a year ago at this time. That’s scary for people. The people in your life are used to you the way that you were. They’re used to the old you. They’re used to the one that is not super excited and positive and sunshine-y and excited about making her business happen and changing the world and making it a better place. They’re like “Wait a minute, where is the girl I knew? What happened to her? Can I get her back?”
4:10 It’s not because they don’t want to see you succeed – sometimes it is – but usually that’s not why. It’s because they’re afraid of losing the connection and the relationship that they have with you. They’re used to a certain kind of conversation, they’re used to a certain energy when they spend time with you when they converse with you. There’s a certain kind of expectation that happens and when you start to change that and you raise your own vibe and you hit a different set point – an energetic set point or frequency – you’re no longer vibing at the same frequency they are.
5:16 Not only are you now not on the same vibe so there’s a disconnect there, you are showing them by role modeling what’s possible. You both started in the same place. You were both vibing the same way, you were both talking about the same things and complaining about the same things. You had a lot in common. Now that you are raising the bar for yourself and you’re starting to do more and you’re starting to achieve you’re goals, you are making yourself happy and you feel really good inside. You’re showing them that it’s possible for them to do that, too. But they also have seen you grow and they know that in order for you to get from where you were to where you are now you had to challenge yourself. You had to step outside of your comfort zone. You had to do things that were a little outside of the box, a little different from what you were used to doing and that scares them.
6:08 They’re like “Wow, she’s showing me what’s possible but she has one foot outside of the comfort zone, the familiarity zone,” to where now you’re basically demonstrating it can be done and you’re showing them that it can be done and you’re pretty much handing them the blueprint of how to do it. They’re feeling threatened and challenged. They’re like “Oh Gosh, she’s showing me how to do it and I don’t know if I want to do it. I don’t know if I’m ready. That’s scary. I have to step out of my comfort zone and I don’t know if I want to do that. I don’t like you for making me feel this way. I don’t like that you’re making me feel less than. I don’t like that you’re making me challenge myself and question myself and what it is that I can do or what I’m capable of or what is possible.” That is something that legit happens all the time when the people closest to you in your circle are watching you front-row and watching you change your life.
7:12 People don’t want to stretch. We don’t want to change. Our brains like patterns and they like routines and they are lazy. So when we demonstrate that change is possible and we force people to start checking in and asking themselves “Can I be doing this, too? Should I be doing this, too?” And you know what happens when we start going “should I?” A whole spiral of thoughts and feelings and emotions start to occur and we are wondering “Are we enough?”
7: 44 Your success after all of this chain reaction of thoughts and feelings could very well be making the people around you questioning whether or not they’re enough. And I know you’re not doing this on purpose. It doesn’t matter because you can’t change people. What happens once you continue to keep pushing toward your goals is that you’re showing them, leading by example – you’re becoming a role model – is that it’s safe. So your first couple of steps outside of that comfort zone when it’s all new and this is just starting to happen they’re going to question if it’s safe. They’re probably going to tell you all of the reasons why it’s not safe. They’re going to project they’re fears onto you.
9:24 Once they get comfortable that it’s safe and possible, they might decide to come and join you and grow themselves and venture. They’re gonna do it when they’re ready. You’re planting the seed. The fruit will bloom. Your seed will harvest for you into abundance and they’re going to see that abundance because it happens in time.
10:00 Everyone may not come around. Everyone may not get to the point where they’re all of a sudden happy for you and supporting you. When that day comes you have a decision to make. Do you keep them or do you let them go? This is a fork in the road. It’s a very hard decision to make, but it must be made. You, at some point, have to decide what does this relationship mean to you and what do you have to give up about yourself and what’s in here – deep inside – and what you know you’re capable of? Do you have to give up your dreams? Do you have to sell yourself short? Do you have to give up on who you are and the impact you cam make on the world to please this one person or this group of people and is that worth it? I want you to think.
10:52 Fast forward to what your life looks like 20 years from now and you’re looking at photo albums; you’re looking at the legacy that you are leaving behind in this world. I want you to ask yourself “In 20 years, what do I want to see in this photo album?” Do I want to see pictures of me playing small with the people around me or do I want to see pictures of me making an impact and changing the world? Do I want to leave this planet knowing I did everything I could to share my gifts? Or do I want to leave knowing hat I chickened out so that I would keep the peace and not outshine sombody or not hurt them and upset them? This is a very hard question. It’s something only you can answer. It requires a little bit of deep thought, internalization.
11:52 There’s always going to be risks. It’s easy to identify those. You’re going to have a lot of help in your life – people who are going to help you identify your risks.
12:17 Then you have yourself and hopefully some really strong supportive people in your corner who are going to help you connect to the rewards. But what if this works? What if you do this and it’s the best thing ever? How are you going to feel?
12:47 What I get a lot when I’m working with clients and women are “yeah, but what if it’s my husband?”
13:13 Again, that decision has to be made. You know your husband. You know your partner better than I do, so my advice would be to go slow. Again they’re afraid for all the same reasons. They’re afraid of losing you and the relationship that they have. They’re afraid of things being different. So perhaps it’s worth having the conversation, or several, go slow, little bits and pieces over time, to have that conversation with them to discover what they’re really afraid of.
13:56 It goes a long way to simply reassure them and say, “Look honey, we’re going to do this thing and we’re going to do it together. We’re a team.”
14:27 Get them on board. Start talking about the possibilities and how this change and your growth is going to l benefit them, too. More important than anything, lead by example.
14:51 Also, speak to them in their love language. It might require a little more effort on your part and, I know that is the last thing you want to hear, but try it.
16:14 Remember, plant that seed, harvest it, nurture it, water it, give it fertilizer – give it sun! – and it will grow and bloom into a beautiful thing. It takes patience. It takes persistence and just like anything – like your mindset that is a muscle – it is going to get stronger.
16:40 The universe is an abundant place. It has your back. This is going to be a good thing.
17:08 You don’t have to burn bridges or cut ties, but a little bit of distance goes a long way. Maintain your boundaries, your energetic boundaries. Protect your positive vibe and your positive thinking and your growth because that’s what’s important right now. Stay on course and it will all work out. Of course, if you need a little extra support or a little community, I’ve got your back, too. Head on over to TheProfitPartyCommunity.com, join the Facebook group and hang out with a bunch of positive people!
- The lack of support is actually just fear of change.
- You are being a role model and plant the seed of growth in others.
- Everyone may not come around or be ready to join you, and you may have to make a difficult decision.
- If your husband is not supportive, go slow and reassure him that your relationship will not change.
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