We all have moments where we want something perfect. But when you’re a perfectionist like me, it’s something that can become crippling. I’m digging into this perfectionism today so come join me for a pep talk.
IN THIS EPISODE
1:46 So you’re a little bit of a perfectionist? Yeah, me too. When I make my bed in the morning, everything has to be perfect. It shows up multiple times in my business and if I’m working on something new, I want it to be perfect. I get all bent out of shape before I release something and want it to be perfect before I do that. It’s because I set my standards really high, and I hit it because I’m an overachiever. We hit that standard and we look at that in hindsight and say that it wasn’t that bad and then keep raising the bar. And that’s positive.
3:45 The bad side of that is when we’re actually going through it, when we’re getting ready to present our new thing to everyone, we have a serious fear of failure. Have you seen the new Always commercial? It’s about when girls hit puberty, their biggest fear becomes failure. It’s because women are always changing their minds and our emotions are all over.
5:02 It’s because when we go to do something, we want to please people and when we don’t, it’s really painful and we internalize that. We tell ourselves we aren’t good enough, maybe I didn’t try hard enough and it becomes a feeling we’re lacking. It’s that feeling of being judged or maybe judging ourselves. There’s that saying “done is better than perfect” and we say “Yeah, for you. But not for me.” It goes back to a time when we thought we rocked it and it wasn’t enough. In that moment you’re shattered or like being perfect wasn’t good enough. Or when you clean the kitchen without being asked and then being told you forgot something. It’s working your butt off on a book report and forgetting your name on the paper and getting a zero. Or trying your mother in law’s meatloaf recipe for your new husband or boyfriend and he finishes it without saying anything and when asked, says it was ok. Whatever it was, it wasn’t enough. Whatever it was, it hurt then and it hurts now. In that moment we felt unloved, our pride was hurt and it’s that feeling that we continually avoid.
8:20 This is the exact reason you are 80% done on so many projects and it’s the reason why you pivot. You are probably close to success and you give up. You buy that third course and then you totally switch gears. It’s that fear of not being perfect and it’s why you know exactly what you need to do and it scares the hell out of you. What if you lived in a world where everyone, even strangers loved you and they knew your love language. It would be amazing right. I had a call with my coach recently and she asked me what I wanted more than anything in the world. It’s an easy and hard answer at the same time. What I want is for everyone woman I have the ability to work work, talk with and interact with feel that they are enough. I want them to not feel like they have to be complemented by that man, or validated by someone else or that girl to them they look pretty or your boss to tell them they are amazing. I’ve worked with so many women who have floored me with what they have been through. They are survivors of some sort of abuse – physical, verbal, sexual. Not all of them and not all of them have gone through all those types of abuse but in some way, shape or form but almost every woman I know has endured some form of abuse but in some way, shape or form but almost every woman I know has experienced something like that. They’ve been treated like doormats. They’ve experienced loss.
10:52 They, just like you, have risen above and created businesses. Your business is your sanity place, where you get to make the decisions and call the shots. What’s important to remember is that you, just the way you are, are enough. You are brilliant, you are beautiful, you are a magical soul. It doesn’t define you. You define you and you get to decide that you’re pretty freaking amazing. It’s made you the amazing, strong, independent woman. All these have been the prerequisite to being who you are now. I just want you to know that. As I sign off today, I want you to know that I love and appreciate you. If you need extra love today, head over to the Profit Party Facebook group where we are there to love and support you. Have a less than perfect, but perfect in your own way, day.
- It’s because I set my standards really high, and I hit it because I’m an overachiever.
- The bad side of that is when we’re actually going through it, when we’re getting ready to present our new thing to everyone, we have a serious fear of failure.
- It’s that feeling of being judged or maybe judging ourselves.
- Whatever it was, it hurt then and it hurts now.
- I want is for everyone woman I have the ability to work work, talk with and interact with feel that they are enough.
- They, just like you, have risen above and created businesses.
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