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Incorporate these empowering statements as part of your everyday lingo

When was the last time that someone asked you to go out on a girl’s night, to go away for the weekend or do something nice for yourself? What was your gut response? Where you flushed with guilt? Did you flash to a default answer of “I can’t?” What happened in that moment?

On this episode, we’re talking about our default answers and how we can change them with three empowering statements.


Whenever it comes to doing something for ourselves, our default responses are that we don’t have enough time or money or that your husband won’t go for that. We don’t even know that we are automatically disempowering ourselves and blaming it on everybody else. I bring it up so that you are aware. You are holding yourself back with these statements. Instead, I want you to replace your responses with one of these three statements.

I can…

Instead of “I cant do it because” I want you to think to yourself: is it really can’t? Is it really physically impossible for you to do this? Most likely, you actually can do these things, but you are using this phrase instead of saying no.

You can choose to say no. You can be capable of doing something but choose to say no to it. When we default to “I can’t” we take that power away from ourselves. It implies that we have no choice or skill. It means that we are not in control.

But you are in control. Saying the words “I can” tells your mind that you are capable and that you are resourceful and you will find a way.  It doesn’t mean you have to do something if you really don’t want to, but it is empowering to know that you can do it if you wanted to.

I will…

If we aren’t saying that we can’t do something, we’re usually saying that “It just won’t work out for me.” We tell ourselves the timing isn’t right or the stars are not aligned. When we do this we are taking away our power to choose. We are telling ourselves, once again, that we are not in control.

“I will” says “I believe in myself no matter what. I deserve it. I might not do it this week, but I will.”

Even reading and listening to those words feels so empowering, doesn’t it? You have the will power. You can find a way.  If you want something bad enough, you need to believe in the words “I will.”

I choose…

Guess what, girlfriend? You are in control of your life. There are choices everywhere that shape and alter the path that you are on. You can’t change past events that have put you on this current path, but you can learn from it. You can make different choices in the future.

Use “I choose” to empower yourself going forward. Choose something better for yourself.  I want you to step up, step out, take chances, and live fully.

I can hear at least a few of you saying, “But, Tonya, we make decisions as a family.” Even if you make decisions as a couple, you can still make choices for yourself. You have their support. If they love you the way they should and the way you deserve to be loved, you will be supported in your choices to follow your dreams.

Empowering Yourself

Loving yourself is such an important step and, even if you aren’t fully there yet, you can start with these three empowering statements. Take them and apply them to the little decisions and questions in your life. This will set the pattern for big decisions down the line.

If your default answers become “I can, I will, I choose” for the everyday moments like a girl’s night out, then what do you think your default process will be when you start a biz or move forward within your business?

You will show up as yourself and get vulnerable.

What will be your default when you find yourself on a path that you weren’t expecting? What does your future look like when you’ve programmed your responses to be positive?

The Mindset Switch

I have an upcoming book releasing in spring 2018 where we get really deep into this. We talk about the layers of mindset and how to change your beliefs. Beliefs are at your very core.

What is on the surface?  The easiest to recognize and change is this: your words.

Your words are your filter. It’s how we perceive what is possible. Using empowering and appropriate words can help us to choose different thoughts. “I can” creates a different thought process than “I can’t.” “I will” creates different outcomes than “I won’t.” “I choose” gives you more power.

Empowering Questions to Ask

Let’s take a look at the different implications of empowered versus disempowered. Empowered means strong, confident, inspired, and motivated. Disempowered means that you feel doubtful, scared, intimidated, unsure, stuck overwhelmed, angry, and depressed.

Which one of these do you want to feel? I’m willing to bet it’s empowered.

The next time you’re faced with a decision I want you to ask yourself these questions:

  • Is this possible for humans? Is this possible for me?
  • What is my level of belief in myself and my ability to do this?
  • Who gets to decide? What does it look like when you decide to follow your desires?

I want you to bring this to the surface of your awareness. Concentrate on this in the next few days. Put these phrases on a post-it note where you will see it throughout the day.

Try to use these in a sentence every day. Pay attention to the thoughts that you think and how you feel as a result

Let’s Chat More

Head on over to the Facebook Group and let us know how is this helping in your life? How is this showing up? How have you experienced empowering or disempowering words in your life and what was the impact of that? How has changing your words changed your life?

I can tells your mind that you are capable and you are resourceful and you will find a way. Click To Tweet


  • 0:45 I know that when you are asked to do something, whatever it may be, you have default responses. Go to gut reactions that are not the ones we are going to talk about today that leave you feeling powerless, stuck, without choices.
  • 2:42 We disempower ourselves. We take our own choices away and blame it on everybody else. Do you see this?
  • 5:35 If you want something bad enough, if it means something to you and you connect to that meaning, I want you to instead practice “I will.”
  • 6:27 A choice is always available to you, no matter what. You have a choice. You are in control of your life.
  • 7:37 That person in your life loves you the way they’re supposed to because you love you the way you’re supposed to – meaning that you set the stage, you set the standard, you set your definition. This is the love that I deserve and I’m going to show you all how to love me by leading by example.
  • 10:45 It is all about empowering yourself and believe it or not, those beliefs of “I can do this, I believe in myself, I trust myself,” they don’t start by just choosing to believe them. It doesn’t work like that. It starts with your words.
  • 13:41 Is the reward greater than the risk? When you decide that it is, anything, anything is possible. It all starts with words. Your words.


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Thanks so much for hanging out with me! Have some feedback you’d love to share? Leave a comment below. Or… if you want your comment or biz question featured on an upcoming episode, leave a voicemail. I’d love to spotlight you!

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When was the last time that someone asked you to go out on a girl's night, to go away for the weekend or do something nice for yourself? What was your gut response? Where you flushed with guilt? Did you flash to a default answer of "I can't?" What happened in that moment? On this episode, we're talking about our default answers and how we can change them with three empowering statements.
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