Are you ready for a crash course in limiting beliefs? You will love this especially if you’ve ever wondered where limiting beliefs come from; why we have limiting beliefs in the first place; and what to do to change to change your limiting beliefs.
Warning: We are discussing truths and lies and some of it may be sensitive for young ears (we talk about Santa!)
IN THIS EPISODE
Beliefs come from repeated “proof.” When I say proof, I don’t mean factual evidence but repeated events that become proof in our minds. For example, a child will Santa take at face value, but as they get older they examine and question it. They begin to feel out of alignment and look for honesty, truth or “proof” that Santa is real.
As aware adults, we get to analyze our beliefs and question if they are serving us. We get to ask if we like the way the belief is manifesting in our life and the results that we are getting.
We choose to think thoughts that cause emotion that, on repeat, create a belief.
Limiting Beliefs and Mindset Layers
I like to think of our mindset as layers. You start with the circumstance and the words surrounding it. Those thoughts become your emotions which lead toward a belief.
The words we use to describe a circumstance start the domino effect. The description you use is what gets you thinking about it and creates a series of thoughts in your mind. Our brains then create chemicals based on our thoughts. Those chemicals release into our body and nervous system. We cannot have emotion or feeling without first thinking a thought.
In the following examples, you want to immerse yourself into them and think of what you would think in this situation.
Example 1: The World Is Scary
Say that two people are shot and injured in a terrorist attack. The media and people around you are using words like “mass attack,” “terrorist destruction,” or “community in frenzy.” Your thoughts are going to be negative around it. However, if it were described as “attempted destruction” and focused on the community members that rallied together and took the guy down before he was able to do any serious damage, you might have more of a positive outlook on it.
If you continuously look for negative events, you will be fearful. That will be a belief. If you look for stories about people triumphing in these events or coming together, then you might have your faith in humanity restored. That is a belief.
Start with your words and you are in the driver seat.
Example 2: Rejection
Think of these series of events and how they could shape a limiting belief over time.
As a 6-year-old, you want your parents to play with you but they are busy. You think they don’t love you and you feel rejected. As a 12-year-old, at lunch on Monday, your friends are talking about a sleepover they had over the weekend that you didn’t get invited to. You think your friends don’t like you and you feel rejected. As an 18-year-old, you’re in love and find out your boyfriend has cheated on you. You think you are not enough and you feel rejected.
With all of that, you have accepted the belief that you are not enough. That belief shows up in your relationships, business and more.
Now think of it differently:
- What if, at 6-years-old, you understand the responsibilities of your parents & their overextension?
- What if, at 12-years-old, you thought that it was not personal?
- What if, at 18-years-old, you are thankful you found out the type of person your boyfriend was before you got married?
In the second scenario, you feel empowered, and not unworthy.
Example #3: Failure
As a child, you are participating in an art show. Your parents have always said you were awesome, so you are confident. At the end, you don’t even get a ribbon so you give up on art. As a pre-teen, you try out for basketball team and are pretty sure you are a shoe-in. You didn’t make the team, so you give up on sports. As a senior in high school, you have all of the great test scores and extracurriculars and apply to your dream college. You don’t get in, so you give up. As a college graduate, you have an interview at a top firm and toward the end of the interview you get a weird vibe. You don’t get the interview.
With all of that, you have accepted the belief that nothing ever goes the way you want so you might as well stop trying.
Now, think of it differently:
- What if, at the art show, you thought these people have awesome work, what can I create next time?
- What if, at the basketball tryouts, you ask the coach about trying again next year and what to work on?
- What if, for your college application, you ask admissions for tips because you are going to reapply?
- What if, for the job interview, you follow up and ask what made the decision?
Your mindset is a muscle. It has cell memory, the more you repeat your thought patterns the stronger your connection is.
Let’s Chat More
Head on over to the Facebook Group and let us know what your limiting beliefs are and, if you know, what events have stemmed those beliefs.
- 1:24 [Limiting Beliefs are] repeated episodes that we perceive as true that make us believe that it is, that that’s the way.
- 3:17 Belief is a choice. How does believing in this make you feel?
- 6:20 Your thoughts literally create your feelings. Your feelings, when repeated over and over and over again, create your beliefs.
- 12:05 You can’t physically be everywhere trying to control the crazy. But what you can control is the way that you react to it, the way that you think and feel about it and therefore you can control your belief system.
- 30:03 You realize there is work to be done but you are willing to do it. That tells me you believe in yourself, that you believe in your abilities.
- 31:03 If you’re always taking an experience that doesn’t go your way and learning from it and growing from it and becoming a better person as a result of it, you are in control of your reality. You get to control the outcome. You’re not giving the control to external people. You’re not allowing other people to dictate how you think about yourself therefore how you feel about yourself therefore what you believe to be true. You’re changing all of that just by thinking differently in the moment.
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