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Getting Rid Of The Emotional Baggage Of Money And Debt
I want to help you feel really good about money and your debt because I know you have some. You’ve got a credit card, you’ve got a student loan, maybe a business loan, maybe it’s just a mortgage on a car payment, but America has debt. Even if you’re from another country, I’m sure you might have a little bit of debt and that debt creates some emotional baggage. It’s heavy. It can be a negative feeling if you have a negative relationship with your debt. That’s what I want to help you clear and transmute because it is what it is. Debt is there for us. Credit as a great thing. Our parents, our grandparents didn’t use it because back in the day, it didn’t exist. The ‘80s created this generation of people that could have more than they could afford. They created an image that living beyond your means and having more and more was good. It was status. It was a way to show that you were accomplished and successful.
Do you know that brands didn’t even exist as a status symbol until the ‘80s? Those of you who are old enough to remember can think back to the ‘80s when things like Nike, Coca-Cola, Tiffany’s and all this stuff became the it thing. Brand started to become recognized. If you study marketing, I’m sure you know this. I’m not speaking anything foreign to you, but it has been this trend ever since then to have more. We are having bigger homes. Your meals are now supersized. Your cars are bigger. We’ve got these huge SUVs and our vacations are more luxurious. All the things, in America especially, are now bigger and bigger things cost more, which means in order to be part of this culture, you’re spending typically more than what you’re making.
We can get into a whole conversation about living within your means and what that feels like. Oftentimes when we’re talking about the emotions of that, it can feel restricting and limited. You’re faced with a choice, “Do I sacrifice? Do I live within my means? Or do I enjoy the moment and put it on a charge card and get the points?” There’s emotion and our decisions are made based on our emotion. We can be responsible. We could be logical. We could sit down and do the math and create budgets and do a better job living within our means. If that feels good to you to be in control of your money, to make conscious choices that make sense, then you absolutely should do it. If however you are in a place where you had to create a little bit of debt to get to where you are, you had to mortgage your home so that you could have the home of your dreams. You had to take out a loan so that you could go to school and get your education. You had to put something on the charge card so that your kids could have something.
We do this because emotionally, it feels good, it feels right. Then we get the bill and we look at it and we allow it to stress us out. We allow it to feel wrong. We punish ourselves. We feel guilty. We feel ashamed. We feel an intense amount of remorse and we make it a right or wrong issue, a black or white issue instead of just looking at debt as a gift, as a way for us to live in this world, in this existence and enjoy our life. I’m not suggesting, based on this podcast episode, that you run out and get a bunch of charge cards and run them up to the max because it’s not a good idea. We’ve seen what that can do to the economy. Let’s not overdo it here but occasionally, it’s nice to know that you have the choice. That is what credit cards do. They give you a choice.
Let’s talk about what happens after you’ve run them up, you are now sitting down, you’ve had a moment of responsible thinking in consciousness, and you want to sit down with your bills and create a budget and start getting out from underneath all this debt. You want to get in control of your finances. Let’s tune in and talk about the emotions that you feel at that time. It’s natural and normal to let that drive you crazy. That’s the common reaction, to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, hopeless that it’s going to take forever, especially if you start doing the math and going, “Based on what I’m making now and what I can afford to put towards these payments, I’m going to be dead before I can pay this off.” It feels really defeating.
That is what I want to talk to you about. It doesn’t have to feel that way. You can get out of debt. You can have a healthy relationship with it. You can get in control of your money and it can feel good. You can flip the switch on the way that you feel about your debt. Here’s how. When you sit down to do this, I want you to instead of being angry or ashamed, try to look at your debt as a gift. Try to find the silver lining, the gratitude. “I am grateful that I had the opportunity to go on that vacation because the memories were beautiful. I am grateful that I was able to go to college. Without this debt, I wouldn’t have had that opportunity. I’m grateful that I was able to send my kids to summer camp. Without this Visa, that wouldn’t have been possible. I’m grateful for that.”
Going forward, you may decide to make financial investment decisions or purchase decisions based on what you have available and if so, great, but if not, go easy on yourself. Have a little grace with yourself and learn to accept your decisions. Learn to own them. Learn to make them and look at them and go, “I made this decision. Take responsibility,” but without judgment, without punishing yourself over it. “I made this decision. I did the best with what I could at the time and now I’m going to deal with it. I’m not going to let it run me, take control over me, dictate the way I feel about myself. It is just debt. It is money. It is energy, just like anything else.”
Look at it like a weed in the ground, in your lawn. Those weeds, you could go spray on them but they’re not going away overnight. It takes time. It takes treatment, a little bit of TLC, some attention. Your debt, just like a weed in your lawn, is going to take a little bit of time and attention but it’s not effective to stand out on your lawn every day and stress and obsess about it, is it? No, just like it’s not effective for you to allow your debt to control your vibration, to lower your vibe. It’s not doing anything for you. It’s there and acknowledge it. Look at it and say, “I see you. I see what the damage is here. I see how much debt I owe and I’m okay with it. I am comfortable with it. It is safe. It is not hurting me. I am in control. I appreciate you for allowing me the opportunities that you have, but your service is no longer required. I am going to pay you off now and I’m going to do what I can, when I can and it’s going to feel good.”
Allow yourself to connect to the emotion, to the way it’s going to feel when it’s paid off. Allow yourself to just sit for a moment as you say to yourself, “I am in control. I appreciate you. I don’t need you. Your service is no longer required. I feel good about using you when I needed you and I feel good about making the decision to pay you off. It’s going to feel good when I do. I’m going to feel like I accomplished something.” Rather than look at your amount of debt and get overwhelmed, look at it and be grateful, take the control back. It can be also overwhelming to decide which debt am I going to tackle first? Where am I going to start? There’s so much.
Some people will tell you to pay off the one with the highest percentage rate. Some will tell you to attack the one with the lowest balance. I’m going to tell you that there is no right or wrong answer. The left-brain thinkers out there, the engineer and mathematical and accounting types will tell you the highest percentage because it’s saving you money in the long run. I come in with a different approach. I feel, personally, that you should also consider your emotions when choosing how to tackle down your debt. Which one is giving you grief? Which one is causing the most guilt, disappointment, shame, remorse, embarrassment in your life?
If every time you get a certain bill, it kills your vibe, that’s the one you tackle first because anything that is bringing your vibe down has got to go. We’ve got to declutter it, detox it and get it out. If that particular bill or debt is bringing back awful memories or it’s angering you in any way, and you have any resentment whatsoever, that’s the one you tackle first. It’s going to feel good to detox that energy out of your life. After that, that’s when you tackle than the lowest balance debt because that is how you’re going to create momentum.
You get rid of the one that’s $200, “I just did it. I feel good. Now, I feel in control. I feel on fire. I feel like I can do this.” It’s a confidence builder and it makes you feel like you have the upper hand. It gives you some of your choices back. My personal approach would be emotion first, lowest balance second and then percentage rate as the last determining factor, but I’m not right. Don’t listen to me. You do what feels good for you. When it comes to debt, the most important thing is that you feel good about it. Tune in to the way it feels in your body. If it doesn’t feel good, it’s time to do something about it. It’s time to create a plan to pay it off. Start with the balances that feel good. Start by creating a budget or a profit plan or a money funnel, whatever you want to call it, and get in control of your finances.
If you need help with that, I would be more than happy to help you. We do workshops on that kind of thing. You can come over, hang out with me, and find me on social media, @Tonya Rineer, or check out the website, TonyaRineer.com or the Profit Party Facebook group. I want to help you tackle this. I want to help you feel good about money again because there is nothing more empowering than feeling financially independent. It’s a beautiful thing. You deserve that feeling and I want to help you get there, whatever way that I can. I hope that this little message, this blog, this financial pep talk was helpful for you and gave you permission to let go of the toxic energy around your debt and get in control of it once and for all. I love you to pieces. Thank you for hanging out with me and spending your time with me. It is an honor and I look forward to seeing you again back here in the next episode of the Profit Party Podcast.
If you need help in raising your vibe and make a commitment to abundance and reprograming your money mindset, check out Money Vibes and learn more.
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