Every day I get letters from people asking me about manifesting and the law of attraction. We talk about both here on the podcast and I have all kinds of freebies available. I want to help you manifest your dream life, whatever that may entail. Whether it’s money, or the perfect business or the perfect relationship, all of those things are available to you. They want to be yours. The universe wants you to have the life you desire.
But what we don’t realize is that our negative thought patterns are the very things that are creating negative emotions and sabotaging behaviors. They are blocking the things that we want most from manifesting. So if you are in this situation and you’re trying to manifest something, meaning there’s a desire, there’s a goal. There’s something you’ve got your eye on. You’ve been thinking about it for quite some time and it’s just not happening for you. This episode is for you because we are going to address why it seems that the law of attraction isn’t working in your favor.
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Now, here’s the thing. The law of attraction is a law. It’s a universal law like the law of gravity. It’s always working. You can’t turn it on and off. That’s just not possible. The question is, whether you are allowing it to work in your favor, or if you’re blocking the energy, which means it’s almost working against you, or at least it feels that way. There are several major reasons why that is. So we’re going to talk about those today.
You Know What To Do
You know that in order to manifest what it is that you want, you have to get in alignment with the energy of what it is that you desire. Meaning, if you want something really awesome to happen, something abundant, like money, and you want to feel good, when you receive that money. You want to feel abundant, you want to feel wealthy, you want to feel happy, and joyful and grateful, right? So, you know that the law of attraction basically states that like attracts like. So, in order to attract that, you have to align with that energy, which means you need to get yourself in that place. You have to feel the feeling before the thing arrives.
So if you want money in abundance, you have to get into an abundant state, and that’s when it’ll happen. But here’s the thing. So many people only practice high vibe habits when their vibe is low. Are you doing that? Are you only making an effort to think positive thoughts, to engage in activities that feel really good and positive and abundant when you are in a low place?
Let me give you a metaphor. Just like your gas tank in your car, your body, your energy is your gas tank. Imagine that. Imagine that you only fill up your gas tank when it’s on E. It’s easier to do that. You stop less, it takes less time. It’s more convenient to wait until you’re on E, pull into the gas station and fill your tank up. That’s what so many people do when it comes to manifesting. You wait until your tank is empty before you engage in high vibe activities. Before you make an effort because it does take time.
You have to take time out of your day. You have to pay attention to your thoughts, to your feelings. You have to become self-aware, and notice where your vibe is at, at multiple times throughout the day, until it becomes such a habit that you’re like, “Oh, boy, whoops, vibe is slipping let’s get back on that.” Then you have to allow yourself the time to get back into that high vibe place where you are aligned with that in which you desire.
So imagine as soon as you notice your gas tank, three-quarters of the way full you pull over. Pull over. Whoops, got to keep that baby topped off. I’m pulling over and I’m getting gas. It’s the same thing. Pull over, pull out of your day, take a break and re-fill your vibe tank. That is the number one mistake people make.
You Manifest in Desperation Mode
The number two mistake I see people make is that they’re trying to manifest in desperation mode. So again, waiting until that tank gets empty and then going, “I want, I need, I’m afraid that it’s not going to happen. What if it doesn’t? I’m doubting myself.” Because from that low vibe empty tank place, the world does seem scary. It does seem as if your desires are never going to come true. You start to get into never mode, and what if mode. And most of your thoughts are of negativity, of doubt, of fear, of lack. And because you can only attract more of what you already have, that ain’t good for anybody.
So when you are in that low vibe place, and you are feeling lack. You are focused on what you don’t yet have, you are focused on the fact that you need money that you don’t have. You feel desperate, you feel needy and you start to go, “What if it doesn’t happen? My world is going to end. I’m going to have to beg my parents for money. I’m going to have to quit my business. My husband’s going to get mad at me. I’m going to have to sell my kids kidneys.” I don’t know what you’re thinking. Or “What if my loving relationship never comes? The man or woman of my dreams. What if that never happens? I’m going to be alone forever. I’m going to be a cat person. I’m going to get a hundred cats and live in an apartment and it’s going to be sad and I’m going to die and nobody’s going to find me.” That is where our mind goes.
When we are in that low vibe desperate place, good things just don’t appear, because we are not aligned with them. Our actions start to follow our thoughts and feelings. So when you’re starting to feel lonely and undeserving and unloving and you feel like you’re going to be the cat lady and you’re never going to find a perfect person, you’re probably not getting dressed up, putting on your lipstick, and going up to meet a nice man. You’re probably sitting at home eat a ton of Ben and Jerry’s. Likewise, when you start to feel like you’re never going to make any money, you’re not going to be successful, you’re more unlikely to take inspired action toward those goals which means you’re not doing your part. You’re not meeting the universe halfway, and you are not aligned you don’t believe that it’s going to happen.
So even if an opportunity knocks on your door, you’re so foggy-eyed and tainted with what it is that you believe is happening for you that you don’t even notice it. So here is what you do instead. You decide what it is that you want, get super clear on it, and start to imagine what is it that that desire feels like. What would it feel like if you had it now? So let’s pretend you want a new house. What is it about the new house that excites you? Why is it that you desire a new house? Is it the big beautiful windows, you want all this beautiful daylight coming into this open concept home?
Real Life Examples
If so, imagine yourself in your new home, staring out your beautiful window and allow that feeling to come over you. Then bring it back to the here and now. Stand in the house you’re in now, go to your favorite window, look out and connect to that same feeling. Appreciate what it is that you have now. Love up what is already in your life that connects you to the emotion that you desire more of. Does that make sense? Love up what’s already in your life. Have gratitude for what’s already in your life that connects you to the emotion you want more of. Because you already have it. It’s already available to you.
Now, let’s pretend it’s a vacation that you desire. Why do you want it, you want to relax. You want to be able to unwind disconnect from the world, you can do that now, go outside, leave your cell phone in the house, take a walk. Enjoy what’s already in front of you. When you do, when you connect to that emotion, you are aligning yourself with the energy of that which you desire, and you will get more of that very thing. You have to look for matches in your world now, as many similarities as you can possibly find and give those things your love, your appreciation, your attention.
Now, moms, those of you who have children, or those of you who know somebody with children, you will relate to the story. There was a little boy who begged and begged and begged and begged his parents to get him a hamster. They were so cute, and every time he went to the store he’d hold them and he’d fall in love. He just wanted a pet he could take care of all by himself. So after a year of begging, his parents finally got him a hamster for his birthday. For a little while, that hamster was his world. He played with it, he cleaned the cage, he took care of it, he was excellent. But after a couple of months, the newness wore off. It wasn’t as exciting as it once was, and his parents found themselves taking care of the hamster, cleaning the cage, feeding the hamster because he was forgetful he was off doing other things.
So after about a year of this, he starts begging for a puppy. The parents were like, no, we’re not getting you a puppy. You can’t even take care of the hamster. We’re doing all the work for you. We’re not about to take care of a puppy too. So the answer was flat out, no. The little boy did not get his puppy. Why? Because he was not giving focus and attention and loving up what he already had. The universe acts much like a parent in that way, in that it wants to see that you are loving, and nurturing and giving your attention to what it is that you already have. When you do like a parent, it’s like, “Oh, you’re doing a good job, you can have more of that.”
So while it’s really not the universe, deciding whether you can have this or not, the universe is always giving you whatever you ask for, your energy is blocking it. But I like the metaphor because it kind of puts it into perspective. Like, “Oh, I get it. I really do need to pay more attention to what I already have.” Show it respect, show it love, so I can get more of it and you will get more of what you give your attention to. So pay attention to what is good and how those good things make you feel, and you will get more of that same feeling and the things that bring you that feeling.
You Don’t Believe It’s Possible For You
So history, your history, your personal experience may show that it’s hard to get this thing. Maybe you keep replaying past memories in your head, past experiences that are giving you the evidence, you need to say, “It’s just too hard. It’s not going to happen for me, it’s not possible.” That can be very defeating, that can lower your vibe, and if you don’t believe that it’s possible, well, it’s not because you are never going to be aligned with it. You might be looking at what you’ve been getting stuck around like a certain income, or maybe you’ve had health problems, or maybe it’s a relationship issue. And you’re like, “The past just showed me that this is just my lot in life. This is the hands of I’m dealt How can I think my way out of this? I just don’t have the proof, the evidence.”
Look around you, who has done it? Find proof that it is possible for somebody who is just like you. If you have to look outside and model somebody else’s experience, do it. Then ask yourself, what is the next step? What would be better, what is possible for me? Fix your attention on that just so that you can align yourself with that belief. Then when that feels so real to you, expand and go a little bit bigger. So if you at this point, are trying to manifest money, and you would love to be a millionaire, but the idea of being a millionaire just seems so unattainable to you, and the more you think about it, the ickier it makes you feel, the more defeated, the more detached from that goal, well, then the goal itself is not helping you. It’s actually lowering your vibe.
You want to align yourself with something that feels exciting, motivated, inspired, that feels a little out of your comfort zone, but still possible for you. Then you want to start to amass as much proof as you can possibly find to reinforce that belief. If you feel like you have to sacrifice, and you have to give things up, and there’s going to be all these problems on your journey to getting what you want, you’re going to sabotage yourself, you’re going to subconsciously block that energy, that flow of abundance coming to you. But if you believe that it’s possible that you deserve it, and that it’s going to be easy it will be.
So after you started to collect proof, you see that it’s possible, you know that it’s possible for you, you’ve seen other people accomplish it, then I want you to start visualizing your life as if you have already achieved your goal. You’ve already accomplished what it is that you want, you’ve manifested your desire and visualize as if it’s in the here and now. Pretend that this is your life now. Imagine yourself looking in the mirror and seeing the new you. Imagine yourself looking around your environment and seeing everything that you have manifested. Allow yourself to feel the feeling, let it come over you. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between imagined and real life experiences.
When you start to visualize and create this imaginary world in your head, the feelings that you feel as a result will be very real, and those feelings are your vibration. So when you feel abundant, you feel accomplished, you feel proud of yourself. You feel inspired and happy and joyful and appreciative you are in that energy and you attract more of the things that feel that way. Like attracts like.
You Don’t Do As You Say
Now the number four reason you may be blocking the law of attraction from working in your favor is that you say one thing and do another. So you might spend a few minutes on an activity to raise your vibe. Maybe you do morning affirmations or you’ve spent time on these visualization exercises. But then the rest of the day, you engage in your old patterns and habits. You complain about life, about things that are beyond your control, about your boss, your husband, your kids, the traffic, the weather, you criticize yourself, you’re hard on yourself, you get down on yourself. You maybe even let people take advantage of you or walk all over you. Or you spend time doing things that automatically trigger negative thoughts and emotions and bring your vibe down. Like watching the news, and you get sad and you start to get deflated and lose your energy throughout the day.
When you’re in that low vibe place you’re like not very motivated. Then maybe you get on social media and you’re scrolling the feeds and you see everyone else’s best life, the picture of their life that makes them look perfect and successful. Then you start to compare yourself and now you’re really feeling down. Then you are triggered and irritated easily, and you start arguing with your spouse, and you get all upset with your kids over something little and there you go. You’re in a downward spiral of low vibe, thoughts, and feelings that are totally sabotaging all that positivity you worked so hard to create. All that high vibe energy.
Your vibe is super important.
You’ve got to get it up and keep it up. You’ve got to notice when your fuel tank gets down to about three-quarters of a tank and take the time to fill it to the max and keep it there all day long. Wouldn’t it be nice if you had a radar detector or some kind of an alarm system that told you when you were down to three-quarters of a tank?
What if you were able to notice your negative self-talk, and stop replaying the stories in your head that are causing you pain? What if you could heal your toxic relationships and the pain and trauma they’ve caused? And start communicating your wants and needs with your friends and family in a super healthy way? What if you knew when your energy was waning, and you knew exactly how in what to do to engage in positive high vibe activities? Or you surround yourself with positive high vibe people that fueled your tank rather than drained it? What if keeping your fuel tank full required little to no energy or effort at all?
Wouldn’t it be great if your tank was always so full that you really never had to worry about it, or the minute that it started to wane you noticed and could fix that? I want to help you build up your toolbox, so you have the tools to do these exact things. So that you have what it is that you need to fill your tank and keep it full. I send out freebies every week to my tribe. Freebies that include inspirational tips, journal prompts, meditations, pep talks, all kinds of tools that you can use to keep your vibe high. If you want to get in on that, head on over to tonyarineer.com/tribe.
I hope you can take this and remember the rules of manifesting and helping the law of attraction help you. And that you’re able to apply this to your life and start getting the results that you desire because you deserve it.